Why the Long Hill Institute?

The Long Hill Institute is an entity mostly ignored by all but a few souls in Western Central Massachusetts.  Its research, such as it is, appears mainly in The Sturbridge Times Magazine, which is the paper of record in South West Worcester County.

It is an entity without budget, but for all that, takes its mission seriously, or at least semi-seriously.  Without resources, we are also not under pressure to produce results for donees.  Heck, we aren't under pressure to produce any results at all.

Below is the result one of our investigations.  The conclusion can only be considered a vindication of our mission.  It originally appeared in the October 2014 issue of the Sturbridge Times Magazine.

Tanks a lot

A shocking revelation has been exposed by the venerable scandal sheet, The New York Times. You know, the publication referred to as the Grey Lady. It is also called the “Paper of Record.” Never mind that it had to be rescued by the Mexican oligarch and billionaire, Chuck Thin. *

Chuck invested hundreds of millions in the paper so that it could stay afloat. I hope none of the readers of this column think it was in any way an attempt to gain influence in the American media.

But, this is all a digression, back to the shocking revelation. American think tanks receive oodles of cash from foreign governments. The Times’ issue of September 6 told how the serious institutions within the Washington, D.C. Beltway get moolah to pursue the important research our government relies on to advance civilization. You have noticed it advancing, haven’t you?

As virtuous citizens, we all want to believe everything in our homeland is on the up and up. That is why the first case the Times presented was so shocking.

The agreement signed last year by Norway’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs

" was explicit: For $5 million, Norway’s partner in Washington would push top officials at the White House, at the Treasury Department and in Congress to double spending on a United States foreign aid program.

But the recipient of the cash was not one of the many Beltway

lobbying firms that work every year on behalf of foreign governments.

It was the Center for Global Development, a nonprofit research

organization, or think tank, one of many such groups in Washington that

lawmakers, government officials and the news media have long relied on

to provide independent policy analysis and scholarship.”

In truth, no one should need a pacemaker upon reading this. It may be a somewhat new departure, but money sloshes around our nation’s capital in vast waves. Five million is a paltry sum.

Norway is hardly an economic basket case with all that North Sea oil. Why is she buying influence to get American aid?

We turned the question over to our official think tank, the Long Hill Institute for Foreign Aid Studies. They were insulted as the answer was so obvious, because it’s there.

It was foolish to even pose the question, but one is impressed with the alacrity of Team Long Hill. The Institute is an invaluable resource not only for the Sturbridge region, but nationally. Why is this so?

Again, we sought out the services of another one of the many sub-divisions of the Long Hill Institute, The Long Hill Institute for Study of Think Tanks.

The conclusion, The Long Hill Institute is the only think that is not in the tank.

So how do we stay independent? Simple, we refuse every monetary consideration. It’s been easier than you think because no one has ever proffered even a red cent.

Now you’re saying, how can we take this seriously, the LHI has no budget to do research. True enough, but LHI has an advantage over the big boys, and more and more, the big girls. We don’t have to footnote anything because we are not doing the heavy lifting of obfuscation required to earn the largesse of foreign states, big business or big government.

Understandably, our methodology is suspect. All we know is what we read in the papers. If it was good enough for a sage such as Will Rogers, it’s good enough for us. It’s a lot harder these days, as there are fewer and fewer that are actually papers. Okay, we do consult more contemporary media as well.

What others may look upon as a lack of professionalism, we prefer to consider as taking dilettantism to its highest level.

For all that, we are dead serious. Much of American think tank scholarship is bought and paid for hucksterism.

Citing again the Times, The Qatari government is the “single biggest foreign donor to Brookings.” The Brookings Institution is as gold plated as it gets in the think tank game. Mr. Saleem Ali, who served as one the first visiting scholars at the Brookings’ Doha Center was quoted in the article, ““There was a no-go zone when it came to criticizing the Qatari government,” said Mr. Ali, who is now a professor at the University of Queensland in Australia. “It was unsettling for the academics there. But it was the price we had to pay.””

The Long Hill Institute for the Study of Ethics has come to a conclusion. Harking back to traditional wisdom we agree, He who pays the piper, calls the tune.

The governments and associated entities cited by the Times want something from the US, all too often at taxpayer expense. They know where to get some juice among the well-funded non-profits. Only here on Long Hill are we free of the easy cash that corrupts.

Of course, if there is someone out there who would like to become a Platinum Level Sustainer of the mission of the Long Hill Institute, please do not hesitate to contact us care of this magazine. Minimum donation is $15 million. We shall send instructions as to where to make the drop.

*A lose translation of the Spanish for his name, Carlos Slim.